I'm Sorry, Patches

It shouldn't have taken me this long to write this. I want to write more, oh so much more. You, as always, deserved so much better. I wanted to write it the day you died but the pain was too raw. I wanted to write it yesterday but the wound was closing. And by the time I was ready to rip it open again, something else came up. I wanted to write it today but I could barely force myself to sit down and dredge up all these feelings again. Every time I'd make a start some other thought would cross through my mind and need exploring.

Why is it I feel so guilty about moving on? It's not like I want to feel this sad for long.