Guild Wars: Nothing to Brag About

So, the game has a new commercial coming out. Or, rather, the game has characters featured in an ad for GameStop, the game retail store I wouldn't set foot in if I was on fire and its floor was covered in a solid meter of water. So, maybe I'm a bit biased but I'm not exactly feeling the spot which you can see here. Oddly enough they don't let you embed it yourself or I would have just posted it here and shared it with my vast audience of....two or three people. But, still, power of the internet, viral marketing, the magic of Stephens' tubes, other vague buzzwords that make it sound like I know what I'm talking about and make the point that they really haven't leveraged the medium as well as they could have.

The spot features some of the new Heroes from GW:EN. Except it really doesn't because they don't sound or act anything like themselves and, instead, it plays out like the kind of crappy machina you can find on YouTube and elsewhere. The Dwarven Monk who's name I've never bothered to learn and Pyre, the Charr archer, stand around a big fire whining about the lame gifts hey got for the holidays. And then the Asuran whom I strangle in my sleep every night comes moonwalking in bragging about how his mother got him a stocking full of games or something. Really, at that point, my mind is too clouded by rage to properly focus.

It doesn't sell the game. I'm not even sure it sells anyone on the idea of games being something to buy, either. And if the point is to be "funny" then it's missed the mark in a manner normally only achieved by blind marksmen trying to skeetshoot in the middle of a frisbee tournament. In the middle of gale force winds.

The subtext of the commercial is also odd, to me. The characters sound like, well, snot nosed punks instead of their normal selves which is expecially jarring with Blech. Taken altogether it seems the intended audience for the spot to be, not gamers, but the parents of those who game and are looking for something - or someplace, rather - to get them. If they do they'll be the ones with the happy child. The overly enthusiastic practically spastic one making a jerkgasm fueled spectacle of himself. It's part of a disturbing trend I've noticed in advertising lately. That of holding up if not reprehensible then ill-advised behavior and lauding it as an example of what you want your customers to do. That you want them to be the over-eager, awkward, anxious dolt or to at least associate that sort of person with your company. Because, yes, head to GameStop if you want to be the kind of person whose ingrate loved ones don't look at your gifts with the distaste once reserved for tube socks and neckties. And you, too, can have your relatives and friends bouncing up and down with sugar filled glee at the thought of spending hours of their lives locked away from the world and swallowed up in the kind of electronic bliss that makes them think things like a dance emote are cool. I just don't get it.

Reprehensible

Like most liberals I've been disgusted by the treatment of Speaker Pelosi and her trip to Syria at the hands of the noise machine and chattering classes. But, the slings and arrows of the opposition and the media “elites” they've somehow managed to cow into submission are only to be expected. However, as you might have noticed I read the TPM quite regularly. It's an excellent website, I feel. Where a place like DailyKos has built itself into the ultimate message board, the combination of journalism and opinion flowing from the TPM is at once getting back to the broadsheets roots of newspapers and pointing to a possible direction for that fading medium. In any event, they generally have interesting opinion pieces posted by all manner of people. This, however, has to rank among the worst. What annoys me so much is not the message but the messenger. The author is a Democratic consultant arguing for a maintenance of the status quo, and the continuation of the imperial presidency – a concept which certainly predates Mr. Bush and has never been a good one. But more than that, he's feeding right into the hands of the conservative noise machine by detracting from what should be a glorious moment for not only Democrats but democracy. I would expect I'll have more to say about this eventually but for now, I'm too choked with rage.

Guild Wars: Because I Can

Let's take a closer look at yesterday's list of potential GW: EN skills. As pal Clamatius went to great lengths to point out, these are in a very raw form and the devil about what each skill will eventually become is in the details. Beyond any grand, sweeping changes prior to release which fundamentally alter how they play – I remember during the Factions preview, Death Blossom's AoE counted as an attack, but come release that had been changed a sort of sourceless damage so it wouldn't do crazy things like trigger hexes or your zealous mods anymore. Things like that will happen but these skills can all be made or unmade based on a simple shifting of the numeric values attached. So, my counter-point to the bi-valve's would be that focusing on whether or not these skills are good based on the numbers is, of course, a fundamentally flawed approach. What really matters at this point is the design space each skill occupies. Whether or not they actually succeed at wat they're trying to do is less important than what it is they're going to be doing. Because, presumably, what they'll be doing is adding something to the game that wasn't there before. With that in mind, here are some of my thoughts on those skills since I didn't have the time to go into any depth with my last post on them.

ASSASSIN

• Lotus Strike 10en, 12recharge - Off-Hand Attack. Must follow a lead attack. If it hits, this attack strikes for +x damage and you gain x energy. Dagger Mastery.

This one's pretty nice, actually. It's a non-hex version of Black Lotus strike meaning you'll need to use a lead attack first but when you do, you get rewarded with a lot of energy. I'd still rather, say, Shadow Prison -> Black Lotus -> Twisting Fangs silliness but there are ways of building a Sin that use a lead attack so good off-hands are a plus. Nothing to write home about but a solid skill that should see some play.

• Assassin's Thirst 5en, 8recharge - Dual Attack. Must follow an off-hand attack. If this attack hits, you steal x Health. Deadly Arts.

Health Stealing is useful as it cuts right through armor and protections, although you'll have to land a hit first. A Dual attack in Deadly Arts is just weird. To make this skill worth it, no matter what the final numbers settle on, you'd have to invest decently into Deadly. There's, at the moment, only two attack chains available through Deadly Arts - either Dancing Daggers to Mantis Touch or Iron Palm to Mantis Touch. So, to get decent damage you're going to have to buff up Deadly - otherwise, why bother? But to do so you'll need to give up either a lot of Daggers or Critical Strikes resulting in a very odd Assassin. This is one that depends a lot on what other skills are going to be available, I think, but doesn't seem to promising at the moment.

• Misery Signet 1cast, 8recharge - Signet. You gain x health for each Condition on target foe. Deadly Arts.

Moderately useful heal that synergizes with all the conditions Sins lay down. Yawn.

• Shadow's Embrace 10en, 1/4cast, 45recharge - Hex Spell. Shadow step to target foe. For 10 seconds, this Hex does nothing. When this Hex ends, you return to your original location and that foe suffers a Deep Wound for x seconds. Deadly Arts.

Meh. A Deep Wound isn't very useful unless you're attacking - the biggest benefit is how it maximizes your damage output by making you hit for higher percentages (while reducing the benefits of healing). Aside from bamfing in, laying down some pain, and letting the Deep Wound combined with some degen kill your target, I'm not seeing much of a point here. Might have some use with applying a hex to replace Shadow Prison but I'm unimpressed.

ELEMENTALIST

• Shell Shock. 10en, 1cast, 10recharge - Spell. Target foe takes x damage and has Cracked Armor for x seconds. Air Magic.

Really depends on how good Cracked Armor is, doesn't it? At first glance, though, it's something like Enervating Charge. Not going to kill anybody by itself but could be a useful follow-up in Air spikes.

• Grasping Flames. 10en, 2cast, 15recharge - Hex Spell. For x seconds, target foe moves 66% slower while Burning. Earth Magic.

With all the ways of causing burning these days this could be very nice, indeed. Just imagine SF spam with snares. Or a team with this, Mark of Rodgort's, and a a bunch of attackers with fiery weapons. Brutal.

• Ward of Weariness. 10en, 2cast, 20recharge - Ward Spell. You create a Ward of Weariness at your current location. For x seconds, foes within that location become Weakened for x seconds whenever they take elemental damage. Earth Magic

So, here's how I see this skill being used. You run up in range of the enemy, cast it, then try and cast some PBAoE to cover as many of them as you can with a moderately useful condition that really only hurts the sort of big people with pointy weapons who are going to be beating on you during said casting. I can see this having a lot of use - in PvE farming builds. Otherwise? Not so much.

• Glyph of Immolation. 5en, 1cast, 10recharge - Glyph. For 15 seconds, your next 3 spells that target a foe also cause burning for 3 seconds. Fire Magic.

Very nice. If I can throw around some numbers here, 3 seconds of Burning is 42 damage. It's hard to see the duration going much lower or higher than that – although I'll be stunned if it's not tied to Fire Magic eventually, so let's do a little crunching of that damage. Damage that doesn't care about armor and flash off a bit too quickly for most condition removal. So, that's 126 damage for only 5 energy and a second's worth of casting time and a big boost to any Ele's damage output - Not just Fire, as I read the skill you could put this on Water Trident or even Freezing Gust. Your Fireballs get to cause more damage. And imagine Incendiary Bonds causing 3 seconds of Burning when you cast it, then dealing damage and another 3 seconds of Burning. Sexy. The only thing that worries me slightly is the wording about "spells that target a foe". Hopefully that means anything you cast on an enemy and not just single target skills.

• Winter's Embrace. 5en, 1/4cast, 10recharge - Hex Spell. For x seconds, you and target touched foe move 66% slower. Water Magic.

For a primary Ele, this is a dumb skill. For, say, a W/E depending on the recharge, duration, and cost this could be nice. I could see it being used the way Shock is - although I'd still prefer the KD myself - on a W/E. As we've seen with Flail, knot being able to move yourself isn't much of a problem if the enemy isn't moving themselves.

• Glyph of Swiftness. 5en, 1cast, 10recharge - Glyph. For 15 seconds, projectiles from your next 2 Spells moves 66% faster.

Well, changing the projectile speed on Water Trident really improved that skill. However, I can't think of many other projectiles that you really care about - again, there could be some nice ones that we haven't seen yet but, you know, Lightning Orb and Ebon Hawk and Fireball and the rest work just fine as is. So, given all the other glyphs around, it's hard to see this one finding a spot on a bar. It's one of those skills where if you had a ninth or tenth spot you might consider but, as is, there's just not enough room for such a minor effect. Now, if it was something like "Your next two projectile spells cast 50% faster and move 66% faster"....

MESMER

• Aneurysm. 10en, 1cast, 20recharge - Spell. Target foe regains all Energy. For each point of energy gained in this way, that foe takes x damage. Domination Magic.

Another conditional Dom Mesmer skill. The stats I saw were that each point of energy didn't reward you with much damage - you might be able to really pound an Ele but on most people, at best, you're talking maybe 40~50 energy burned off their pool so at 2~3 damage a pop, you'd expect something like 80~150 armor ignoring damage. More than 3 points of damage per energy and I think this skill gets far too scary. And I think, like Power Return, that giving someone energy is going to scare a lot of people off this one. An okay skill that might be something to really abuse.

• Power Lock. 10en, 1/4cast, 15recharge - Spell. If target is casting a Spell, that Spell is interrupted and disabled for an additional 1 second. Domination Magic.

Clamatius's objections aside, I don't like this one. It's probably going to be another of those "so so but use it with MoR and it goes crazy" skills. For me, though, it doesn't pass the "Would you take it over Power Spike" test - P-Drain is the interrupt of choice but it's in a separate attribute line. Not unless the skill disable is in the 10~20 second range, in other words a Distracting Shot for Mesmers. Maybe it's just me, but I don't like the idea of Mesmers having a D-shot. There's plenty of counters for Rangers from flight time to LoS issues to even things like Shield's Up or Blind. Not so much for Mesmer interrupts which are instant, go through any obstacle, and you're not likely to be wasting the Migraines, Backfires, and such that disable casters on a Mesmer. Combined with all the other avenues they already have for screwing over a caster, the ability to D-Shot stuff almost at will gets frightening.

• Signet of Distraction. 1/4cast, 20recharge - Signet. If target foe is casting a Spell, that Spell is interrupted and disabled for 1 second for each signet you have equipped.

Oh look, another moderately useful signet skill for Mesmers. Maybe if they keep adding enough of these someone will find a use for Keystone Signet one of these days. I don't think it's today, though.

• Calculated Risk. 10en, 2cast, 10recharge - Hex Spell. For x seconds, target foe has 50% chance to miss with attacks but does +10 damage. Illusion Magic.

It's Reckless Haste for Mesmers. Has a chance to be pretty good, especially if Price of Failure stays playable.

• Inadequacy. 10en, 1cast, 8recharge - Hex Spell. For x seconds, the next time target foe attacks, that attack is interrupted and all nearby foes take x damage. Illusion Magic.

More melee hate for the Illusion line. It's not exactly going to keep anyone from swinging but it is pretty nasty and is no doubt going to make me grit my teeth when I run into the RA idiot who decides to build around/with it. A lot like Clumsiness today, really.

• Logic Bomb. 10en, 1cast, 10recharge - Hex Spell. For 10 seconds, target foe suffers from -3 health degeneration. When this Hex ends that foe has Cracked Armor for x seconds. Illusion Magic

Phantom Pain except it deals Cracked Armor instead of a Deep Wound. I'm guessing that Cracked Armor is going to drop someone's AL insted of health. Depending on how much it drops, that's actually a pretty daunting prospect. So, this is a skill that's nasty while it's up and nasty when it's taken off. I like it.

• Sum of All Fears. 10en, 2cast, 20recharge - Hex Spell. For x seconds, target foe moves, attacks, and casts Spells 20% slower. Illusion Magic

Nasty on just about anything you can put it on. Should see a lot of play on Migraine-type Mesmer if that's still a viable archetype when GW:EN comes out.

• Signet of Recall. 1cast, 20recharge - Signet. You lose all Energy. For 10 seconds, you have -4 energy regeneration. When this effect ends, you gain x Energy. Inspiration Magic

Screw yourself on energy for 10 seconds and you get a slight amount back. Unlike Mantra of Recall, you can't mess around with the duration to get that energy back ahead of time, probably. Also unlike Mantra of Recall, it's probably not an elite. About the only way this is useful is on a build that doesn't require a lot of energy in which case, why do you need the energy? Again, one of these days they're going to create a Keystone monster. Don't think it's today but...

• Wastrel's Feast. 5en, 1/4cast, 20recharge - Spell. If target foe is not casting a spell or attacking you gain x energy. Inspiration Magic

Now that's what I'm talking about. Gale someone, pop this off, and revel in your newfound energy. Probably be able to catch other people with it at times, so it could be decent e-management. Depending ont he recharge, you might or might not want to risk just tossing it out there, though.

MONK

Balthazar's Signet. 1cast, 20recharge - Signet. Target foe takes x holy damage. If that foe was attacking you gain x energy. Smiting Prayers.

Monks are always getting beat on so if they're specced into Smiting this could be useful for e-management. The key words there are , "if they're specced into Smiting". So, yeah, another useless Smiting skill that farmers might love.

This could be interesting. It's a Holy Veil for conditions. I'm not quite sure it sees play right now but I can see where it could come in handy - preprot yourself with this in the RA and you don't have to worry so much about being Dazed, for example, and all those Thumpers can go sit and spin. Might help your frontliners with a Blindbot, too, depending on how quickly it scales down the duration of conditions.

• Smite Condition. 5en, 1cast, 8recharge - Spell. Remove one Condition from target ally. If a Condition was removed. Foes in the area take 5 damage. Smiting Prayers.

It's Smite Hex but with Conditions. I'm sensing a theme here with the Smiting skills but, again, that line has to get a lot better overall before people take it seriously. And there's enough effective condition removal out there that you don't have to rely on unattributed stuff like Smite Hex.

• Cure Hex. 10en, 1cast, 12recharge - Spell. Remove one Hex from target ally. If a Hex was removed that ally is healed for 102 Health. Healing Prayers.

I'm actually liking this one. The heal will be nice as will having another low recharge, single use hex removal out there. But the real draw here is that this is in the Healing line. Healing doesn't tend to get a lot of utility skills and this is a skill that can heal and deal with moderate hexing, sounds promising.

NECROMANCER

• Masochism. 5en, 1cast, 10recharge - Spell. Steal x health from target foe for each Condition you are suffering from (maximum 60). Blood Magic.

Er, yeah, it does damage based on the amount of conditions you have. But it's capped so you can't go nuts with it. Fairly useless, if you ask me.

• Cacophany. 10en, 2cast, 15recharge - Hex Spell. For x seconds, whenever target foe uses a shout or Chant, that foe takes x damage. Curses

A skill like this should really shut down a Paragon. I'm actually surprised they don't have something like it already. But it looks to be a fairly narrow and fairly powerful counter - you might not need it every time you bring it but when you do need it, it'll really work overtime. That's in line with other highly conditional counter skills. I see it falling into a similar place as Rust, Ignorance, or Soothing Images. It's not going to be used very often but it's going to be there as a safety valve and people who really hate shout spams will run it. If it ever does see serious play, it means there's something seriously wrong with shouts and chants.

• Entropy's Grasp. 5en, 1cast, 3recharge - Enchantment Spell. For x seconds, target ally's attacks cause Weakness for x seconds. Death Magic

Meh, it looks reasonably spammable but I'm not too high on Weakness as a condition. So, something like a weaker version of Tainted.

• Putrid Bile. 10en, 1cast, 12recharge - Hex Spell. For x seconds target foe suffers -1 health degeneration. If that foe dies while under the effect of this Hex, all nearby foes take x damage. Death Magic

Moderately useful hex. There are already skills that deal damage when someone's health bar pops and they don't see much play. The real draw here will be the casting and recharge along with just how much degeneration this kicks out - it could be useful as a cover hex for stronger degen skills.

RANGER

• Rapid Fire. 10en, 2cast, 12recharge - Preparation. For x seconds, you attack 25% faster. Marksmanship.

Another IAS with the potential to really get crazy. I'm guessing it's restricted to Archers only but the main drawback here seems to be that you can't use Apply Poison.

RITUALIST

• Pure Was Li Ming. 10en, 1cast, 30recharge - Item Spell. Hold Li Ming's ashes for 5 seconds. Whilst you hold her ashes, Conditions on you expire 10% faster. When you drop her ashes all allies within earshot lose 1 Condition. Restoration Magic.

Fairly interesting. Just looking over the skills we have so far, I'm guessing conditions are expected to factor largely in the next expansion...

• Energetic Was Lee Sa. 10en, 2cast, 30recharge - Item Spell. Hold Lee Sa's ashes for 5 seconds. while you hold her ashes, you gain +1 energy regeneration. When you drop her ashes, you gain +1 energy. Spawning Power.

Could be moderately useful e-management. Still doesn't really want to make me use item skills - it's just not a very attractive mechanic no matter what they do with it, if you ask me. Mainly because it keeps you from weapon swapping and attacking for only a moderate, long lasting effect. But anything more powerful than that gets crazy so, you know, blah.

Well What Do You Know?

Iran to release the British Sailors. So much for casus belli. And here I was all set for yet another pointless war...

This seems like a pretty slick move on Iran's part and a massive PR coup. U.S. TV is, of course, searching for the ulterior motive. But I wonder how it's going to play in the rest of the world. Iran managed to bloody the nose of Britain, one of the great Western powers, and prove their own military strength. At the same time the pictures of the captured British sailors - whom the White House insisted on calling hostages - show them being well-fed and cared for. And I'm sure, say, the general Arabic public is only too ready to compare those with the pictures from Abu Gharib.

Guild Wars: Silly Thoughts

This might just be the cough medicine talking but, surely, I cant be the only one worried that the standard representation of the upcoming Guild Wars sequel has, somehow, become GW2. It might just because I hate the game and everything it stands for with what little remaining passion for the game I have but it reminds me too much of that late 90s trend to abbreviate every blockbuster in some misguided attempt to become X-treem! Example: "Hey kidz, go see teh ID4, it is the bomb diggity, yo!". I live in fear of the first time I hear someone refer to it as "Gee Dub Too". At that point, I half-expect characters to be given rocket-powered skateboards and, in place of armor, safety pads and biking helmets. It will be totally rad, no doubt. My only interest in the sequel at this point is only in rolling up a Charr character and naming him "Poochy Dogg".

Celestial Tournament: The Final Aftermath

This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang but a whimper.

- The Hollow Men by T.S. Elliot

As I was afraid, it looks like scheduling issues are going to keep my team from actually playing in the eight and final round. It's an open question right now who's going to forfeit to whom although I think both sides involved would be fine with taking a tie or a double-loss at this point. And, again, it's the awful scheduling format of this tournament that's giving us difficulty – we even tried to use the weekend to our advantage but couldn't. In the end, I know it's not for a spot in the final 16 or anything the tournament's organizers really care about but it was important to me. I was afraid, going in, that this tournament would be a disaster and although it wasn't the flaming wreck I expected it to be, it was, by and large, a disappointment. The scheduling sucked. And there's really no getting around it because if this tournament had been a little better planned out or handled, it needn't have. As one of my teammates said, we spent much more time worrying about what time we were supposed to play than what we were going to be running and who'd be playing which role.

I think, in the beginning, everyone focused on the roster. Originally it was going to be 8 people, no substitutions, you needed to have at least 6 show up and could replace the other two with henchies. And I and others, rightly, cried foul – there was no way over a two month tournament schedule that just eight people could reliably make any and every match. The roster was expanded to 10 and, further down the road, we were given the opportunity to add in more people and the limit of henchies in a team was raised to further ease scheduling. All in the hopes of actually getting matches played, no doubt. And make no mistake, if the roster had stayed what it was the tournament would have been an even bigger disaster than it was. However, I think the focus on the limited roster blinded everyone to the more subtle problem of scheduling. With just a bit of thought, the community could have offered up a lot of helpful solutions – like regional brackets or divvying up teams by timezones - but once the tournament was underway there wasn't much to do except mess with the fallback times. And, of course, whine.

As it is, we're at 12 points and probably not going to rise much higher or fall lower than our current 108th overall. That's barely in the upper half of the bracket which I think is about right for 4-4 with 4 games actually played. We went 2-2 in those games (One of which, for personal reasons, I missed). So, yeah, mediocre .500 record overall.

I might be a bit more upset than usual because Main XoO and RoX, the other XoO divisions who entered the tournament, also had forfeits this round. That leaves Main at 5-3 with 15 points. Like OoX they actually played only 4 games although they went 3-1 in those matches – and they still think they could have won the one they dropped. RoX will be at 3-5 with 9 points. I'm not sure how many matches they actually played but I know they forfeited several because they couldn't get enough people.

On another note, [EW] beat [MH] 2-1 to claim the overall top seed for the elimination rounds. Good for them but my old friend Narc's in Mostly Harmless and I was really pulling for them. The match reports help, too, even though they don't have the latest one up yet.

Anyhow, since my guild won't be moving on (Not that, realistically, we ever expected to although when we were in the midst of our default spikes we joked that we might be able to forfeit our way to the top.) I'm left with the question; was it worth it? It's been two months and a lot of cerebration and heartache since I signed up for this so, was it the right thing to do? Well, if we're going by the games we actually played, no. We had four no-shows, two games against teams running with henchmen (one of which we won and one of which we lost), and two games that were steamrolls (one against us and one for us). The round seven come from behind win was probably the best but, again, scheduling issues meant the other team was only playing with seven people and it feels a bit cheapened in retrospect. If we're going by prizes, well, I'm probably in line for two or so potions and, yeah, I'm thrilled by that. What I'd have to rely on would be the amount of practice and training put into the tournament. And there, I'm not sure if we wouldn't have been just as well off to concentrate on just playing a lot of ladder matches for all the good it's done us. It seems, now, that a lot of people in OoX are burned out. Myself included, really, although maybe I'm just feeling let down by recent events. But people are going on breaks or leaves of absence and it's not like we had all that many players to begin with.

As for whether, in general, I think the tournament was a good thing to hold, well, I do. It was, as predicted, something of a fiasco but we always knew it would be. And for all the hard times I and others have given Mr. Gills and all the other organizers, I'm sure they worked as hard and as diligently as they could to pull together this tournament and give the community something in the wake of the delayed ATs. It's been far underappreciated, as such efforts usually are, but it's important to remember how large an undertaking this tournament was. There've been some good matches and, no doubt, the elimination rounds are going to be a sight to see. I wish they'd gone a little better for me, personally, but if you'd asked me a few weeks before the tournament, I bet I doubted I would even play.