Frak Me!

Picture me swearing loudly and repeatedly, if you would.

I just realized today that one of the many forum accounts (one of my more important ones) I’ve left dormant has had people trying to get in contact with me but couldn’t because of a full PM box. Among other things. I suck so much sometimes, it actively hurts me. Hopefully, I can figure out some way of dealing with the problem eventually. But it’s at this point that I have to apologize to anyone and everyone who’s ever known me for the disheveled mess I’ve made of my life. So, in repentance and in advance, I’m sorry. To everyone who doesn’t need it yet don’t worry, if I haven’t gotten around to disappointing you yet, I will.

Also, today I finally decided that I’m going to have to put off going back to school for a little bit. Sucks painfully also but just too much is still up in the air and I have no confidence that I’d be making the wrong choice so I’m just going to take some time to reconsider and redress all the craziness that’s popped up. I’m more than a little depressed about it but also relieved that I’ve made the decision. Finality is liberating. Just like when you’re waiting for the axe to drop, so to speak.

Ah well, who cares about all that, though? I’ve got a novel to write. And, since you didn’t ask, things are going great there if nothing else. Flew past 30,000 earlier today and I’m about to head back for more (Although at least 1/5 to 1/3 of that is filler – repeated lines and notes that get included in my rough count. I’m going to have to exclude them when I turn the thing over to the magic counting genies). Once I make a post or two around here, anyways, since I promised myself I would and, well, I’m working on keeping those sort of promises. I’m approaching the 35k mark which is supposedly when things start to crystallize. I can believe it as my text is starting to gel a bit. Almost everything’s blocked in at this point, I know all the beats I want to hit (And I am going to have to cut things short in terms of my overall plot which will leave some of the stormclouds I’m brewing to lay fallow and pointless but hopefully I’m being subtle enough about my foreshadowing that I’m the only one who’s going to notice that they’re not paying off.), it’s just a matter of fleshing out the outline. I’m still not sure exactly if what I’m writing has any redeeming quality whatsoever. My inner munchkin has come to full bloom as I obsessively check my word count and plot ways of filling up that bar. There’s a lot of bloat and things that I’d excise if I was in the editing bay but I’m about additive value at this point, not the simple elegance of good design. I’m over halfway at this point and if I can find the time and energy to write it out I’m starting to think I actually can slip in under the wire. I’m not happy about just how much I’m writing on a per hour basis – I think I can do better – but it’s hard to really concentrate with all the distractions I have available and I know I’m writing more than others so I really shouldn’t complain.

Outlook: Did you not just hear me say I’ve got 30k? We’re flying high at this point.

[1] - Bah, I care about word count not time count at this point.