IGNORE ME!

I think I need help. Serious, mental care help. It's a thought I often have and dismiss but, today, I'm just not sure. I'm just so exhausted. And I haven't done anything. In weeks. The act of trying, of caring, is just so hard. And I'm sinking into that deep, dark place where I start to question everything I do – starting with waking up in the morning.

It's not a healthy place, in other words. And I'm really worried that one of these days I won't be able to snap out of it in time. But, unfortunately, a very productive place. At least until the dark thoughts take over.

Because, at this moment, I'm swirling in a cloud of information. Questions, answers, thoughts, ideas, buzzing around my head unspoken, unvoiced, but informing every action. If I could speak in a thousand voices, I would, because that's the only way I could ever get every thread being woven through my mind out into the world. A thousand voices, arguing, bickering, flickering from concept to concept. Speaking in loops and riddles as I mull over an idea. It's like I'm overclocked. Like my brain is running at a higher level of efficiency as I try so hard to get things done before I'm drained.

So, yeah, the script writing is going well. I'm about ready to stick a gun in my mouth but I think I can do this.