Wolverines Blogging: Have They Yet Learned Nothing?

Okay, so I'm just going to go ahead and drop the running joke of my mind being shattered by the Wolverines losing, forcing me to retreat to an alternate version of reality where happy bunnies climbed rainbow stairs to frolic on cottencandy clouds or whatever the hell I was smoking because, yeah, it's limping badly at this point. I'm sure I felt it was amusing at the time. As always, if you have complaints with your blogger feel free to stand in the middle of the street and shout out your grievances at the top of your voice and see where that gets you, you ungrateful jackass.

But, anyways, other than attempting to alienate what remains of my readerbase, where was I? Oh, right, Michigan's season. You'll forgive me if I seem a bit forgetful but it seems like the 2007 Wolverine system is a meme which just slips through the hole's in one's mental web. At least, that's how it appears to the various college poll voters, anyway. I was stunned last week when the University of Michigan - not state of Central or some kind of Miami of Ohio situation, I checked - managed to get some 26 points in the AP poll. Even meant to say something about it, just was too hellaciously busy and apathetically lazy to crawl to a keyboard at the time. It's even in my notes, see? "What the hell is up with Michigan being back in the poll's radar? Say something regarding short attention span, late losses vs early losses." Which, come to think of it, probably isn't too much proof since I could have just typed that out but, believe me, it's probably easier than trying to shove my notebook through the monitor in front of your nose.

So, as you might imagine, I was floored this week to find not only had they gotten the stray vote from the retarded cousin of the AD or whichever unfortunate shutin who's tasked with filling out the poll every week but they'd actually managed to chart. They're 24th in the AP poll and just barely missed out on the USA poll with 127 points compared to the 128 of Penn State. Whom they beat. So, yeah, that makes no sense. But that's good enough to put them 25th in the first BCS standings of the year. And the way the top teams have been dropping it's not inconceivable they'll finish high enough to be eligible for a BCS bowl. Especially if they can finish strong by beating OSU in the final game of the season. A 10-2 UofM team that travels well, just beat the #1 team in the country - like OSU is going to lose before they get to Ann Arbor against the rich, creamery goodness of that schedule (Who beats them? MSU? Please.) - would look pretty good. And that loss to Oregon is looking more and more understandable thanks to the Pac-10's success this season and...

No. No, see, now I'm doing it? I'm buying into the easy success the Wolverines have had against a parade of cupcakes and forgetting about just how atrocious they looked at the start of the season. I'm believing they have a chance to finish at the top of the conference and go to a marquee bowl.

To which I only have to say that I've been meaning for weeks to say something about how people have been getting way too much of a boner on about Michigan's success after their disastrous start. But, again, see the aforementioned "I am so lazy, don't even get me started" hemming and hawing. But the voters, the fans have apparently forgotten. They lost. To Appalachian State. Which, okay, it's never happened before but That 16 seeds going to beat that number 1 in March one of these years. It happens. But, then, next game they lost. To Oregon. They didn't just lose by a little, they got crushed. On their home field, in front of all their fans, in a game that was supposed to be a statement about what and where they were as a program, a comeback match that proved Appalachian State was a fluke and Michigan was there to take care of business. But, no, they went into a fetal crouch at midfield and remained there while the Ducks savaged them.

And, then, they went on to beat who? A Notre Dame that's historically bad? Eastern? The university that lives in their shadow and shows up once a year for a cut of the gate recipts and a punch in the face? Penn State? They always beat Penn State. It's even more of a gimme than Northwestern. They haven't beaten a good team yet. No one in the Big Ten has, so you can't even say that whomping a team like MSU or Wisconsin bodes well. The conference's biggest win against the competition, to date, is OSU squeaking past Washington who are in the bottom rung of the Pac-10. And that, along with a string of conference patsies and non-conference pattycakes is enough to get them the #1 seed in the BCS. I just don't get it. Are these pollsters watching the same games that I am or are they just looking for the biggest name, docking anyone with a loss a few positions, and turning in their ballots?

The Big Ten is awful this year. And, if the season ended today, it'd be playing for the national championship. So much for strength of schedule and earning your way there. So much for anyone hoping for an entertaining night in ?. Because, if OSU gets there they're going to be blown out. Badly. Or has everyone else forgotten what happened last year when idiots like myself were arguing that we needed a rematch between the Wolverines and the Buckeyes to really settle things?

Let me tell you what's going to happen with the rest of Michigan's season. They'll have some close calls, maybe a third loss against Wisconsin or MSU, and a much hyped showdown with OSU, climbing the polls all the while. Win or lose, they'll go to a big bowl game. And they'll get crushed by their opponent. Because the team that's on a five win streak is the exact same team that started the year 0-2 and looked slow and paper-thin. The only thing that's changed has been the level of competition. And once Michigan is again removed from the safe confines of the Big Ten box, it's going to tell. Again. The Big Ten is awful. This year, anyway. And until they realize this and stop coasting on reputation, it's not going to change. Teams like UofM and OSU are going to rack up gaudy records in the regular season, schedule safely in the non-conference, and have a shot at playing in the title game. But not winning the national title. Because they're a step slow, a play behind, and way too conservative to do anything about it. That might be fine for some people, but not for this Michigan Man. We don't belong in the polls, we don't belong anywhere near a decent bowl game, not until we get better.