Fuck, I Hate Waiting

To say the past few days have not been good ones would be a terrific understatement. I wish they'd merely been a gentle downward turn instead of the massive derailment I've been living through. It's been rough and, as usual, I've been closing down and neglecting outlets like this site.

This Saturday, things were looking happy and bright. For once, all my class work was done, all my chores had been finished, and I had a pleasant nothing to do. Michigan finally had a televised game but it was later that night and State was about to get crushed on national TV. I was going to sit back, watch the games, and do some blogging. I was only ten posts away from my thousandth, after all, and I had a sparse little celebration planned. With the grist from an afternoon's worth of college football, I figured I could churn out enough posts to crest that mark. I'd just set down enough outlines and post hooks to send me well past.

When the phone rang.

Turns out my dog was sick. Or, rather, not my dog, the dog I have with me, but my childhood dog. Really, my brother's childhood dog since we got her when I was well into middle school (After a suitable period of mourning for my mother's college pet who'd been my childhood dog had passed.). But since he's in California she's been staying with my mother. She's rather old, to the point where last time I visited my mother's I installed some new, shorter stairs in the backyard because the dog who used to take a running leap up and through the screen door was having trouble stepping high enough to get inside.

Anyhow, she was sick. Badly sick. My mother suggesting that maybe I should come home and see her one last time because she wasn't sure she could go through another situation like the cat's alone again sick. So, I dropped everything. And I've been in a bad dream ever since. By yesterday, our dog had been checked out and looked alright enough that I felt I could head back to a place with less crying and sadness and, you know, work and everything else. So, of course, driving home I get into an accident I can't afford. Oh, and we haven't heard from my brother who's somewhere around LA where they might be in trouble because of the massive wildfires.

Just hammer blow after hammer blow. All of which would be bad enough except this morning, I got another call. My dog's turn for the better has ended. She's had some sort of stroke and can no longer stand up.

So, now I'm sitting vigil by the phone hoping I don't get that next call. The one telling me to forget all thoughts about heading into work or getting anything done because I need to make the trek down to watch another loved one pass into memory.