Friday, January 18, 2008

Guild Wars: I Drink Your Milkshake

Retarded Forum User:

"Why do you people complain about Ursan Blessing? I don't get what the big deal is. So what if it makes PvE easier? How does that affect you n the slightest? All it does is make it easier to farm and that lowers prices on the stuff I want to buy. Stfu you daycare bears."

You know, I agree.

In fact, I don't think Ursan goes nearly far enough in making PvE as brainlessly uncomplicated as possible.

I rather think the next update needs to include a clearly labled button to press that lets you win the game. None of this running about and having to target things, you just press it down and everything in the world dies. I suppose to keep you from having to run around having to scoop things up before the timer expires that all the drops should be automatically teleported into your inventory and, once that fills up, to your feet so you can more easily sort through them.

After all, the point of the game should be that I can load up the client and sit back in relaxed comfort to watch my net worth continually rise. Numbers racing ever upwards, faster and faster, until they're ticking over so fast they merge together and begin to blur like a broken speedometer on the rocket car setting the world's land speed record.

I mean, if you can't eat a sandwich and push buttons to victory then why the hell do you play?

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